Our Experience May Differ: Dr. Mark Kaschube – Magician – Dentist

Impacted-Mouth Coil Removal Procedure

The Morris Daily Herald features front-and-center with the story of Dr. Mark Kaschube’s Annual Halloween Magic Show accompanied by the slug-line “Wicked Fun.”

This
struck us ironic or true.  Sometimes when our mouth is filled with
appliances, partially numbed, constantly dried, wedged and contorted,
beneath an alum-covered dental dam, our nitrous oxide-affected mind
wanders to places beyond the 2000 watt light looking for our “happy
place.”  Is our dentist enjoying her own special “wicked fun”?

If so, shouldn’t she be covering our co-pay? 

Some
would suggest — as they have in our group-therapy sessions as late as
yesterday — we shouldn’t assume our appointments with our doctor mean
anything to her.  She takes no pleasure in hurting us.  In
fact, she has to cause us pain to prevent us from having pain
later. 

Still, call us paranoid (and we know you and your
little clique call us that and worse) but we think she does take a
perverse pleasure in causing us pain.  Maybe it’s the dog-collar
she makes us wear and that she works out of her mini-van.

We digress.

Dr.
Kaschube recalls with fondness a disturbing image. “I remember when I
was a kid and I was having my braces done on my teeth. My orthodontist
? Dr. John Bonaguro, in South Holland, Ill., where I grew up ? had six
chairs in his room, with kids sitting in them, facing away from each
other,” Dr. Kaschube said.  “And he would walk in between the
chairs ? his audience ? and he told jokes, and he was funny, and had us
all laughing.”

“It was actually fun to go to the dentist,” he
said. “And later I worked for him part-time, not knowing then that I
was honing my skills. But I also learned from him that you can be a
dentist and still be open and funny with your patients. You can make it
fun to go to the dentist, believe it or not.”

We’ll take his word for it. 

“I
suppose all kids get bit by the ‘magic bug’ at some point in their
childhood,” he said. “With me, though, it happened when I was five
years old. And it stuck.”

The Dentist Magician uses the allure
of magic and illusion appeals to a childlike fascination in everyone,
separating the real from the imaginary, causing those in the magician?s
audience to choose between what they think they know and what they
think they are seeing.

“It?s a suspension of disbelief,” he
explained. “With magic, it’s neat to just relax and let your brain take
a break. You see the seemingly impossible suddenly appear possible.”

Like when our dentist gives us Rohypnol (“roofies”).

“As
a magician,” he said, “one of the greatest things is someone in the
audience yelling out to you, ‘Do it one more time!’ They feel this
burning need to believe what they?re seeing, even though their rational
mind tells them it can’t possibly be real.”

Over the years, his act has grown. His magic act has traveled from Las Vegas all the way to Europe, and he has performed on the Bozo the…

Impacted-Mouth Coil Removal Procedure

The Morris Daily Herald features front-and-center with the story of Dr. Mark Kaschube’s Annual Halloween Magic Show accompanied by the slug-line “Wicked Fun.”

This
struck us ironic or true.  Sometimes when our mouth is filled with
appliances, partially numbed, constantly dried, wedged and contorted,
beneath an alum-covered dental dam, our nitrous oxide-affected mind
wanders to places beyond the 2000 watt light looking for our “happy
place.”  Is our dentist enjoying her own special “wicked fun”?

If so, shouldn’t she be covering our co-pay? 

Some
would suggest — as they have in our group-therapy sessions as late as
yesterday — we shouldn’t assume our appointments with our doctor mean
anything to her.  She takes no pleasure in hurting us.  In
fact, she has to cause us pain to prevent us from having pain
later. 

Still, call us paranoid (and we know you and your
little clique call us that and worse) but we think she does take a
perverse pleasure in causing us pain.  Maybe it’s the dog-collar
she makes us wear and that she works out of her mini-van.

We digress.

Dr.
Kaschube recalls with fondness a disturbing image. “I remember when I
was a kid and I was having my braces done on my teeth. My orthodontist
? Dr. John Bonaguro, in South Holland, Ill., where I grew up ? had six
chairs in his room, with kids sitting in them, facing away from each
other,” Dr. Kaschube said.  “And he would walk in between the
chairs ? his audience ? and he told jokes, and he was funny, and had us
all laughing.”

“It was actually fun to go to the dentist,” he
said. “And later I worked for him part-time, not knowing then that I
was honing my skills. But I also learned from him that you can be a
dentist and still be open and funny with your patients. You can make it
fun to go to the dentist, believe it or not.”

We’ll take his word for it. 

“I
suppose all kids get bit by the ‘magic bug’ at some point in their
childhood,” he said. “With me, though, it happened when I was five
years old. And it stuck.”

The Dentist Magician uses the allure
of magic and illusion appeals to a childlike fascination in everyone,
separating the real from the imaginary, causing those in the magician?s
audience to choose between what they think they know and what they
think they are seeing.

“It?s a suspension of disbelief,” he
explained. “With magic, it’s neat to just relax and let your brain take
a break. You see the seemingly impossible suddenly appear possible.”

Like when our dentist gives us Rohypnol (“roofies”).

“As
a magician,” he said, “one of the greatest things is someone in the
audience yelling out to you, ‘Do it one more time!’ They feel this
burning need to believe what they?re seeing, even though their rational
mind tells them it can’t possibly be real.”

Over the years, his act has grown. His magic act has traveled from Las Vegas all the way to Europe, and he has performed on the Bozo the Clown show for the past 10 years.

His annual Halloween magic party and show has been an institution for the last 15 years. 

“I
think another one of the reasons why I love Halloween so much is
because Harry Houdini died on Oct. 31,” he said. “Houdini was one of
the greatest magicians ever, if not the greatest. And he died on
Halloween. How cool is that?”

Pretty cool, unless you are Houdini.

 

Important Legal Notice – Please Do Not Read

“Rohypnol” was a registered trademark of Hoffman-La Roche, Inc. The U.S. Patents and Trademark Office cancelled the registration in 1984.

Quinlan’s
Inside Magic recently announced its decision to stop carrying ads for
roofies and other Rave paraphernalia and has agreed under a settlement
with the Federal Trade Commission to publish free e-zines an e-books on
the danger of mind-altering drugs used to either enhance the “Rave
Experience” or to cause a date to become unconscious for any reason.

 

See, Raise the Roof, Not the Roofies! (E-Zine, Quinlan Inside Magic Publications, 2005),   Roofies Are Bad For You: They Cause Brain Rot and Big Butts (E-Book, Quinlan Inside Magic Publications, 2005), Don’t Drink With Strangers if They Put Capsules or Powder in Your Drink (Film Strip and Record for Schools, Quinlan Inside Magic Publications 2005).

We further agreed to stop our pathetic attempt to find
human-interaction by entering a bar, announcing our intention to put a
roofie in our own drink, and suggesting “we will soon be vulnerable if
anyone is interested.”

     

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