There are certain maxims we live by. Some are considered and coherent. Others are just an ephemeral notion with enough substance to offer guidance.
We ignore these rules at our peril.
Friends, we offer you the following in the hope you will listen to your inner-voice, avoid that which you know to be wrong, follow the path that leads you from our ruin to the relative safety a well-lit intersection or a Denny’s.
We were watching Poker World International Champions of Champions ("PWICC") on the satellite. We don’t have a satellite dish but our neighbor does. He may have the dish, but we have ready access to coaxial cable and a ladder, so it is like we have satellite too.
There was an advertisement for one of those virtual casinos. We were all hyped-up on old but new-found Halloween candy and our own designer drug combining Diet Coke and Excedrin Maximum Strength – we call it a Caffeine Pi?ata. It’s like a whack to the brain to help spill the ideas and thoughts for our grabbing pleasure.
We logged on to the virtual casino, conveniently named, The Virtual Casino. Because we are always cautious when surfing the web, we checked out its business records before we went too far. Fortunately, we found it was licensed by a private act of the Bimini Government in Exile now based in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and Bimini City. That’s about as legit as it gets in the virtual world.
Under the terms of the sign-on agreement, most of which we glossed over, we were required to enter a credit card number – "only to verify our age."
Significantly, this did not say we were to enter our credit card number, just "a credit card number." One of the benefits of having such trusting neighbors is their willingness to share – perhaps unknowingly – but share nonetheless. Unfortunately, our neighbor did not believe in personal responsibility or honor.
She had not paid her card on time and so the number we entered did not satisfy the faceless credit card checker in Ft. Lauderdale or Bimini. It is a sign of our society’s decline that people will spend their money on satellite dishes but fail to pay their bills on time. We made a note to remind her of her obligations the next time we hacked into her home network.
Fortunately, we were offered a credit alternative. Through the magic of modern telecommunications, we could give our telephone number and the verification process could continue by billing us as if we had called a 900 number.
It does not get easier than this, we thought as we punched in the full number to our local YMCA.
Within seconds, we were whisked from the entry page into the virtual spaciousness that was The Virtual Casino. What a beautiful environment! It reminded us of Las Vegas – if that desert mecca was two-dimensional and surrounded by pop-up ads for "Dating Services" and "Natural Remedies" presumably for those big dates – or by the looks of some of the models, for after the romantic evening.
We assume there must be an all-natural alternative to penicillin.
We wanted to head to the poker…
Continue reading Virtual Casino Tales of Woe
Recent Comments